Healing from Sexual Abuse

Ellen Bass and Laura Davis wrote a wonderfully empowering book for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (see suggested readings in Helpful Information) called The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. In the book they speak of the following stages of recovery:

• Making the Decision to Heal
• The Emergency Stage:
  Beginning to deal with the memories and suppressed feelings and the turmoil this brings with it.
• Remembering:
  This is the process of getting back and connecting both memory and feelings.
• Believing it Happened:
  Survivors often doubt their own perceptions. Coming to believe that the abuse really happened and that it really hurt you is a vital part of the healing process.
• Breaking the Silence:
  Most adult survivors kept the abuse a secret in childhood. Telling another person about what happened to you is a powerful healing force that can dispel the shame of being a victim.
• Understanding that it wasn’t your Fault.
• Making Contact with the Child you were.
• Learning to Trust Yourself.
• Grieving and Mourning.
• Touching the Anger.
• Disclosures and Confrontation:
  If it is appropriate and desired for the healing process.
• Forgiveness:
  Forgiveness as is appropriate for the survivor. The only essential forgiveness is for your self.
• Spirituality:
  This is a uniquely personal experience. You might find it through traditional religion, meditation, nature or a support group.
• Resolution and Moving On:
  While you won’t erase your history, you will make deep and lasting changes in your life.